Lindsay Robertson

I don’t know what bugs me more about my online banking secret question selection, the masculine normativeness or the future utility of “Name a vacation spot.” (Just name one? Is this Family Feud?)

I’m just going to remember my password.

View high resolution

Somebody should tell the Weather.com/Twitter pull-in that most people who Tweet the word “high” are probably not talking about the weather. Though actually it was probably “degrees” that did it. Either way: fun!

View high resolution

joshfrench:

No bigsy, but that thing we did was a question on Millionaire.

Dream big!

View high resolution

growltiger:

Last night.

Photo by Jen Carlson.

honestly, it made a lot of sense at the time.

Um, where’s my body? Am I a witch?

The other day I was at my local Trader Joe’s and noticed that the Espresso Pillows, to which I am addicted in that way where I’m never out of at least one sealed container in my home nor a tin in my bag, were out of stock. “Relax,” I told myself. It was right after a holiday weekend, and a lot of things were out of stock that day. I had my stash. I was fine.

But then yesterday I went again, and not only were the Espresso Pillows gone, but the entire candy shelf was completely neatly stocked and there were these BULLSHIT peppermint stick things in their place! I don’t know what to do. I’m in distress. Dear Trader Joe’s: not only do I NEED these, and the quick hits of caffeine they provide, but they are literally the only candy I like! In the entire world! Please do not doom me and other caffeine-loving, sweetness-averse folks to a candyless existence. (Also, I have an OCD thing where, throughout the day, I need to suck on one of these to start a project, the way people do with cigarettes. Obviously, the only solution is to make sure I’m never out!)

I guess if you see these in a NYC-area TJ’s, please email me, and if you work at Trader Joe’s and make candy decisions, please bring these back. I beg of you.

“Give me give me I need I need!” - Bob Wiley

We all love Timothy Olyphant.

Vulture: You think he’s ready for a kid? What should he call it? The names he’s batting around with Winona — Felix, Jiffy Pop — might not fly in Harlan.

Olyphant: As long as I don’t have to act with a kid, you can call it anything you want.

- From a (great) interview today. “Justified” returns tonight, duh and yay!

“What is musical trajectory that led to Spin Doctors’ ‘Two Princes’?”

- Something I found necessary to wake up and email to myself from bed in the middle of the night last night. I do not know the answer.

View high resolution

allthecoolkids:

whatevs:

tracieeganmorrissey:

My friend Rich has done a lot of impressive things, like This American Life, the best Celine Dion video on the internet, and the time he came up with the lyrics, “I get horny in your presence, I wanna give you presents,” but these accomplishments are eclipsed by the fact that he judged a child beauty pageant and will be featured on next week’s episode of Toddlers & Tiaras (which he wrote about here). When we first became obsessed with Swan Brooner 10 years ago, I couldn’t have dreamed that we’d ever see this day. I mean, my mom called me last night because she was so excited to see Rich on the promo for his episode. I know that this isn’t even happening to me, but this is like one of the most exciting moments of my life. I’m living vicariously through him, just like a pageant mother. That’s my best friend on that reality show. “Smile, baby, people are lookin’ at you.”

I’ll have to figure out where TLC is on my dial for this! Proud of you, RichFoFo!

HAhaa. Nice try pretending @unclegrambo. #ourdvrisfulloftlc

I am not employing hyperbole when I say that this is the Television Event of 2012.

View high resolution

I don’t want to take away from the extreme delight I took in seeing that “2 Broke Girls” creator Michael Patrick King was taken down in a TCA press tour panel today for his show’s racism and worthlessness. In fact, I think the press tour critics who framed their judgements of the show as constructive because “they like the parts about the girls themselves, just not the diner”  were totally full of shit and just capitulating to the show’s high ratings, because every part of that show activates some super hard-wired part of the intelligent human brain with a signal to self-destruct. (Yes, even Kat Dennings. Down with the ship. The monotone-voice/huge-boob combo can only take one so far.) But I would just like to salute these commenters, because off topic people are MY KIND OF PEOPLE. (And I guess my DVR spared me from my latest hatewatch, because SERIOUSLY? BOXED CAKE MIX?)

Just discovered/invented the most amazing snack

- 1/2 cup cottage cheese (I used full 4% fat because the caloric difference is negligible but the taste is worth it. Also, fat is good for you. But fat free will work, too.)

- Trader Joe’s South African Smoke seasoning, to taste. Stir. Umami heaven!

It sounds a little weird, but I would serve it to guests as DESSERT and they would die, it’s so good. Do this! I’m telling you. (Tomorrow I’m going to try it with Greek yogurt, but I’ll probably spare you the details.)

View high resolution

No offense, “House of Lies” online pilot, but there are plenty of free ways to see some random stripper extra’s boobs.

View high resolution

tylercoates:

“She’s really running out of stuff, huh.”

-Lindsay

MOVE OVER, DOROTHY PARKER!

I was trying to find the exact wording of Dolly Parton’s “But we always go see the Fahr-WERRKS” line in “Steel Magnolias” because I can’t seem to stop saying it out loud since my most recent viewing this week, and I guess this is for hard core “Steel” fans only, but the IMDB trivia page has gotten full of stuff! Like, there’s a Steel Magnolias Bed and Breakfast that I’m going to make vague plans to go to with a large group of friends someday and then not ever, and also “The cemetery scene was shot in one take,” which, of course. If you’re bored!

Update: Bex made a .gif! It’s everything we dreamed of! (“Acting!”) Yes, we all know now that we should have moved the bear. Happy Holidays!

(Thank you Bex and Jen!)

View high resolution

Back in October, I swear there was no idea funnier than the photo shoot we did at my insistence at Jen’s house in Vermont with a realistic-looking toy bear “for my holiday card” (which would have been my first. And I’m just now remembering it. D’oh!).

Mentally insert text wishing you a “Bear-able Holiday season” because I tried to digitally and it looked even dumber than it sounds. But also, for real, seriously: Happy Holidays everyone, and may we all finally get our shit together in 2012!

[Photo by Jen Carlson]