February 2012
1 post
Any excuse to mention "Idiocracy"
One of my favorite lines from the movie I’m forced by our culture to remember nearly every day:
Joe: “I don’t understand. Why me? Every time Metzler says ‘Lead, follow, or get out of the way’ I get out of the way!”
Commanding Officer: “Yeah, when he says that, you’re not supposed to choose ‘get out of the way.’ It’s supposed to...
January 2012
15 posts
A Video of Two Bachelor Contestants Moving Their...
It’s the video of sworn enemies Emily the Doctor and Courtney the Model moving their mouths weird that we never knew we needed, set to Katy Perry’s “Firework” for some reason. I watched the whole thing, and maybe the scientists should take a look:
Via/By Reality Steve, but do not click that link unless you want major possible/probable spoilers, obviously.
We all love Timothy Olyphant.
Vulture: You think he’s ready for a kid? What should he call it? The names he’s batting around with Winona — Felix, Jiffy Pop — might not fly in Harlan.
Olyphant: As long as I don’t have to act with a kid, you can call it anything you want.
- From a (great) interview today. “Justified” returns tonight, duh and yay!
“What is musical trajectory that led to Spin Doctors’ ‘Two Princes’?”
- Something I found necessary to wake up and email to myself from bed in the middle of the night last night. I do not know the answer.
Just discovered/invented the most amazing snack
- 1/2 cup cottage cheese (I used full 4% fat because the caloric difference is negligible but the taste is worth it. Also, fat is good for you. But fat free will work, too.)
- Trader Joe’s South African Smoke seasoning, to taste. Stir. Umami heaven!
It sounds a little weird, but I would serve it to guests as DESSERT and they would die, it’s so good. Do this! I’m telling you....
December 2011
11 posts
I was trying to find the exact wording of Dolly Parton’s “But we always go see the Fahr-WERRKS” line in “Steel Magnolias” because I can’t seem to stop saying it out loud since my most recent viewing this week, and I guess this is for hard core “Steel” fans only, but the IMDB trivia page has gotten full of stuff! Like, there’s a Steel Magnolias...
On What the Charlotte Airport Can Do to Itself
Tomorrow at this exact time I will be at Charlotte Douglas International airport, and I will be in a hurry to get from one gate to another, and blocking my way will be great gobs of humanity using the only between-gate transportation offered at the Charlotte airport: a series of narrow conveyor belt people movers. These people (who run the entire gamut of perceived wealth, class, race, creed, body...
“I’d heard his stuff was good, but I’d never read it myself, and because I’m a suspicious and distrusting person, I didn’t take its goodness on faith. Then I picked up The Fault in Our Stars. I am totally devastated by this book. I cried when I read it, and I never cry. You don’t want to throw around phrases like “instant classic,” but I can see this book sitting next to The Catcher in the...
November 2011
18 posts
The new 1 Corinthians 13:4
“I mean, you don’t really love someone if you’re like, “No. Just let them die”,’ Pattinson said.”
This could be read at one of those ‘Twilight’ weddings! (Yes, it’s evil to take it out of context, but the actual context isn’t that much better.)
Happy Birthday, Tara!
Remember after Valerie Harper left her own show “Valerie” in the ’80s, they called the show “Valerie’s Family” for a while, before finally settling on “The Hogan Family”? I’ve always found that humorous. “Valerie’s Family”!
Anyway, last night I was thinking of shows that that could happen to now and I think it would be really...
I just figured out why I've always hated The...
I have always secretly hated the Muppets because they seemed “like dirty and smelly old toys” to me. I just figured out that I’m the exact age where actual Muppet toys would have been dirty, smelly, old hand-me-down toys, or toys found in unsavory places like a pediatrician’s office or the church nursery, when I was a toddler/preschooler. Anyway, breakthrough!
On Vegetative States
I would just like to put this on the permanent (well, Tumblr) record: I don’t care what any neurological tests say: if I ever seem like I’m in a persistent vegetative state, I want the plug pulled as soon as possible. Right away. That day. In fact, don’t we all think it’s actually *worse* to be conscious but appear vegetative than it is to be actually vegetative? (And...
How I found out which celebrity matters the most...
Text from a friend Saturday morning: “I’m sorry for your loss.”
My return text: “What loss? I’m at Macy’s looking at couches!!! What?? Did something happen to Jon Hamm??”
(RIP Andy Rooney, though, obviously. I will miss him.)
Slow News Day Consultant For Hire
If anyone ever needs to know when a news day is slow, and therefore a good (or terrible, if the news is bad) time to release an announcement, I am offering myself as a consultant. Here’s a freebie: this afternoon in the world of entertainment would be a good time to release an announcement that you wish to get attention.
(And don’t forget: celebrities! I’m your NO MAN!)
October 2011
18 posts
Q. Do you take adult’s drawings?
R. I personally prefer to work with children’s drawings, but occasionally, I have worked with the adult’s (inner child’s) drawings. The best thing to do is contact me with the drawing and I will let you know what I think.
- Dammit, the FAQ for this amazing company that makes toys based on children’s drawings has already anticipated people like me.
(Via...