So LONG STORY SHORT, I was just iming with Gabe about this one viral baby video that’s that’s annoying me this week by being on every website (I’m a truly fascinating IM conversationalist and coworker) and I was like “I bet it’s even been on ihatebabies.com, if that exists.”
So of course, I went to see if it exists. And it does! And it’s new! And it’s a blog about “the reasons why people shouldn’t breed.” There are only two post so far, but here’s my favorite:
"Here are my top 10 reasons why people should not breed:
#1. They eff up your body: Think you had a good looking figure before? Well watch your tits droop before your very eyes and your stomach sag like a deflated balloon. Argue cocoa butter? You have slim chances little lady.
THAT IS #1. So don’t even try to ARGUE COCOA BUTTER. (Also, “They break shit” and “Goodbye, vacations” are on the list, but nothing about overpopulation or poverty is.) This chick just literally hates babies! I love it. Also:
"Do what some of the Native American cultures do, and tie that shit up when they’re little. If they want it bad enough to tear through a stitch, then hells with it."
HAHAHAHAHA. So many things wrong! It’s like a parody but not. Also, her profile says she doesn’t believe in abortion or adoption. So that is weird.